Sanity Has Returned!

Sunday, November 29th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Just a brief update for the few people that actually read my blog-

The blog is not dead.  I will still be posting, just obviously not about work as I am still (willfully) unemployed.  It’s been 2 months to the day that I left my job, and I feel like I’m actually back to my old self.  I’m no longer the dead, horrible, shell of a man that I once was!

Since leaving work, I’ve done the following: (In no particular order)

Married my girlfriend/fiancee of 10 years

Visited family back in Florida

Visited my hometown in the Florida Keys

Honeymooned in the Keys

Went parasailing

Spent a week with friends in Washington state for the Thanksgiving holiday

Learned a little bit of how to make my own greeting cards using scrapbooking techniques and stamping

Planned a new trip to California for a week to visit more family and friends

Regained my sanity

None of these could have been accomplished while I was working.  I didn’t have the time, nor the motivation, to actually follow through on any of them.  If there’s anything to be learned from all this by anyone reading; Do what you love.  Don’t take a job because it pays well, take a job because you enjoy doing it.  The money may be great, but the price you pay in the long run for you own mental well-being isn’t worth it.

The End… Or Is It?

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 | Banking Rants | Comments Off

So I put in my two weeks notice at work this morning, and will no longer have to hear the insipid mumblings of retarded people anymore. Oh, and I also won’t have to deal with customers either! Cue the rimshot and cymbal crash! I kid about the dig at my coworkers. I love them all to death, and they are like family to me. You know, the portion of your family that gets their own separate table at the reunion because there’s something just a little off about them, so you don’t want them mingling with the normal people.  “What’s off about them,” you ask?  Well, they enjoy the mostly-thankless job of answering calls at a call center for a large bank.  To do that, you just have to be a little off to begin with, but I love them all just the same.

I rant a lot about my work, but here’s the thing, it’s not where I was working, it was what I was doing.  The job itself was absolutely horrid, didn’t pay what it was worth for the torture you endure, and it could turn a very nice person like yours truly into a cynical ass who ends up blogging about it.  The company I worked for and the people I worked with though were, and still are, absolutely amazing, and I hope they continue to be that way.  They were the reason I continued going in to work and not just saying, “The hell with it, I’ll go work at Starbucks!”

Now though, it’s time to move on to greener pastures, and hopefully an equally greener wallet with where ever I end up working next.  This blog will continue to exist, and I’ll still continue to write, but it just won’t be about the banking world.

Edit: Guess I should have mentioned this part, but at a bank, you don’t normally get two weeks when you put in your notice.  You put in your notice, and you’re generally gone by the end of day, or sooner.  It all makes sense really since in my position, they don’t want you putting your honest two cents into calls where you’ll end up saying, “You fucked up, lady! EAT THE FEES!  I’m going to enjoy the new indoor heated pool we built out of your overdrafts alone! *maniacal laughter*”

Minor Rants

Thursday, September 24th, 2009 | Banking Rants | Comments Off

Things that just piss me off that people do all the time.

Customer: Well, you people let me spend my money and you overdrew my account.

Guess what, us people weren’t the one swiping your card left and right at Baby Gap so you could buy your idiotic 2 year old a polo shirt that he’s promptly going to spit up on. Learn to keep track of how much money you actually have, and quit living beyond the life that your paycheck/unemployment check/child support check/Baby Daddy’s random deposit provides.

Me: To further assist you, could I get your account number or your social security number?
Customer: I don’t have my account number.  Could I give you my social?
Me: … Yes, that’ll work.
Customer: *silence*
Me: *silence*
Customer: *silence*
Me: Go ahead whenever you’re ready…
Customer: Oh, ok.

Seriously?  I told you what information I need the first time.  Not only did you ignore the fact that I said “or your social,” but then I have to prompt you to give it to me again?  In the grand scheme of things, it’s minor, but it’s still annoying as shit to have to repeat yourself multiple times.  It’s not like it’s the first time these people have called in to talk to someone, they know what info to give, but they still play dumb.  It’s not cute, it’s annoying, stop it.

Customer: I need my account number.
Me: Well, unfortunately we’re not allowed to give out account numbers over the phone due to Government privacy laws, and for your protection.
Customer: What about if I give you my social to verify myself?
Me: Sorry, unless you can show me picture ID, I can’t.  You can go into the branch with your ID and they’ll give it to you there.
Customer: Can I give you my drivers license number?  That’s picture ID.

Badgering a bank rep over the phone over and over for information when they’ve already said no, and stated why they can’t do something won’t magically make them be able to do it all of the sudden.  No actually means no.  I’m not some hussy working in a hotel, and you’re not Kobe Bryant, so my no won’t be changing to yes any time soon.  Yeah, yeah, he settled out of court for it, but I still think she was all enamored by seeing Kobe, and saw her opportunity to make some money.

If the Shoe Fits…

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 | Banking Rants | 1 Comment

I won’t bother retelling the whole call because this guy was just a complete asshat, and it was forty-five minutes of disagreeing with me when he was completely wrong.  Some people just don’t want to accept that they’re fighting against a company that has rules in place that are governed by the Federal Government, and there’s really no point arguing unless your statement says $40-$30=$8.50.  If the math is obviously wrong, then apparently there was a legit bank error, but when your purchases line up and you’ve spent $1100 more than you have… Guess what?  You’re the retard, not the bank.

The situation with Mr. Asshat was simple, you have a time you need to get money into the bank before you can go spend it.  That time with my bank is 2:00pm, not 4:30pm.  I give him the rundown on cutoff times, and he’s stuck on the fact that his deposit slip gave him his new balance, and he completely ignores the fact that the ‘date available’ section says three days (18th – 21st) into the future.  So he goes out and spends $1200 that he doesn’t have yet since it hasn’t processed, and he gets a single $22 fee, which is nothing compared to what it could have been if things fell differently.

His response to my educating him on cutoff times and deposit availability was as follows:

Asshat: I work as a machine fabricator, and you people need to do what we do.  We have stupid people that touch parts of working machines that could cut fingers off, so we have what we call ‘Idiot Guards.’  They’re these big signs near the gears that say, “Don’t touch, you could lose your fingers.”  That way people know what’s going on, and they don’t have to use common sense.  Your stupid bank needs some of those in the branch with all this information!!

Me: Well, sir, we do have ‘Idiot Guards,’ and they’re called deposit receipts.  They tell you what day you made your deposit, what time you made it at, and most importantly, what day it’s available.  So tell me, Mr. Asshat, do you have your Idiot Guard handy?

Asshat: Yes, I have my receipt right here.

Me: Ok, and what day does it say that your deposit was available?

Asshat: … The 21st.

Me: Ok, so it looks like the Guard has all the information on it, but someone still lost a finger.

So even though I used his own logic against him, he still disagreed even though the proof of what happened was right in front of his retarded face.  These kind of people piss me off the most.  The kind that no matter what, thinks they’re correct, even when the answer is staring them down.

Oh, and yes, I got away with calling him an idiot and he didn’t even catch it.

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