It’s Been Awhile

Monday, July 2nd, 2012 | Fatherhood

So I realized that it’s been quite a long time since I’ve updated my blog.  The original intention of my blog was to vent my frustrations at work.  First, there was the three years of hell at the bank call center, then followed by a much need change of occupations back to my true passion of the IT world.  That did wonders for my sanity.  Working in a job where the people you talk to need your help, and are generally very appreciative of that help, is wonderful.  I started in a help desk position at my current company, and I was there for about a year and a half.  At that point, I accepted a promotion at work, landing me a job in IT Operations, which also moved my wife and I back to Seattle, WA.  IT Operations is pretty great, because the scope of people I deal with now has moved away from the IT challenged and into the realm of being the one calling the shots when things break.  The job is great, so there’s not much to vent about.  Since moving back to Seattle though, life has changed quite a bit…

In May of last year, my wife started feeling strange, and after some tests discovered that she had a growth in her stomach.  We had a few visits to various doctors and medical practitioners, where finally one of them said, “Yes, your wife does indeed have a growth in her stomach, and it will have to come out eventually.”  The thought of what it would be like when this growth came out scared the both of us.  One doctor we visited, said,  “Well, I’ve looked at the images, and your growth is a girl.”  I was all, “Say wha?! Are you sure there’s not a penis in there?” My wife was like, “That’s how I got the growth in the first place!” And we heard a rim shot out of nowhere.

Fast forward about 6-7 months later, and on Jan 25th, 2012, our daughter Eleanor Katherine was born.  She’s 5 months old now, and she’s the most precious little girl in the world.  At times, she’s also the most frustrating little girl in the world.  I hear the collective gasps, “But Cuban, how can you call your own little daughter frustrating?! You monster!”  I ask you, have you ever tried to change a diaper, only to have the child move in just the precise way that you get green, gloppy poop all over your hand?  It’s happened to me, and it’s not fun.  Have you ever taken a baby somewhere in public just to go for a walk, and have them scream uncontrollably like you’ve just bitten off their toes while high on bath salts, only to then be completely stumped as to what they want in order to calm them down?  It’s happened to me, and I had everyone in the mall glaring at me like I’m the father that Satan raised because, “How can you let your precious, adorable baby scream like that?”  Dammit, because I’m trying to rush to the family lounge so I can change what I can only imagine is the diaper doody to destroy all diapers.  The one shit that will rule them all.  The way she was screaming, I envisioned the shit demon from Dogma was now living in her diaper, and he was ready to burst forth.

I’ll talk more about poop demons and other things in later posts.  So you all stop thinking I’m some terrible monster.  I kid when I say that my daughter is frustrating.  It’s not her that’s frustrating.  It’s me.  There’s a breakdown in communication when it comes to being a parent and taking care of your infant.  The breakdown is that she can’t talk, and I don’t understand her cute jibber jabber cooing and squealing, so it’s basically as if she’s from another place, we’ll call that place Wombington.  It’s right down the junction from Uteran Town.  I just don’t speak the same language that they do in Wombington, and she doesn’t speak any other language that I could possibly understand.  So the frustration really lies in being a new father and getting the hang of it all.

So from now on, unless something changes at work and I need to vent, most of my posting will be about my daughter, being a father, and the crazy hijinks that comes with raising an infant.  There are a lot of things that people don’t tell you when you mention, “My spouse and I want to have a kid!” And dammit, those things need to be told to the masses.

Also, any suggestions on possibly changing the name of my blog?  I was thinking, “Diary of a Cuban Dad, man.”

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