E-mail is Hard, Folks.

Friday, March 26th, 2010 | Uncategorized

I was really hoping that I’d never run into a single person in my new job that would make me feel like I had to write a blog post about them.  That to me just means one of three things; They’re absolutely retarded, they frustrated me to the point of heavy annoyance, or it was a hilarious situation.  This woman was just retarded and frustrating.

I’ll start by saying this, if you don’t know how e-mail works, how to send it, or just the basics of what’s needed to send an e-mail, grab a hammer and hit yourself in the face.  Right now.  Just grab hold of that thing, and as hard as humanly possible, hit yourself right in your stupid face.  Oh, and don’t worry, hitting yourself in the head with a hammer isn’t going to do any kind of brain damage, because you already don’t have a brain, so there’s nothing to damage.

For those of you that for some reason have the mental capacity to read my blog, but still don’t know how to send e-mail, here’s a brief rundown of what you need:

  • An e-mail client
  • An e-mail account
  • The e-mail address of the person you want to send to

This is really all you need, you don’t even need to have something to say, people send blank e-mail all the time.  Those people are retarded too, just not as retarded as the ones who don’t know how to send it to begin with.

So on to the actual dimwit I talked to.  We use Outlook Web Access for folks that are at home and need to check work e-mail.  This nurse calls me and she’s using it while at work because she says she doesn’t like the full Outlook client.  Now, if you’ve ever used webmail of any sort, it’s never as functional as an actual robust client.  OWA is the same, it’s just not as good as the Outlook client, but it’s still a good webmail client if you’re not dumb as rocks.  So this nurse starts out talking about how it’s not working and it’s broken because it won’t send e-mail, and OHMYGOD WHY DOESN’T IT KNOW WHO I WANT TO SEND TO?!

Me: Ok… So who do you want to send the e-mail to?

Nurse Ratchet: Amanda Rwaraviahadfwhatever, but I don’t know how to spell her last name.

Me: No big deal, if you know part of her last name we can check the Outlook Directory for it.

NR: That’s too much work, why doesn’t it just figure it out for me?

Me: Well, it tries to, but if there’s more than one person that matches the search, you have to be the one to tell the computer who you mean to send it to.

NR: That’s stupid.  I don’t see why it doesn’t just pick the right one.  What if her name is Cathy, and I don’t know whether it’s with a C or a K.

Me: … Then you need to ask Cathy how she spells her name.  The computer only knows the information that you tell it.

NR: Well this is definitely too much work then and it’s stupid.  This isn’t helpful at all.

Me: It’s just like a phone, if you don’t know how to spell the persons name, how are you going to look them up in the phone book to call them?

NR: That’s nothing like this, and I don’t appreciate you trying to explain it to me like that.  Calling someone is nothing like sending an e-mail.  Anyways, you’re not helpful at all.  *click*

I was completely dumbfounded at that point anyways, and felt like I had lost IQ points just talking to her, so I’m relieved she hung up.  Hopefully she’s smarter when it comes to dealing with patients, because she fails at computers.  I can just imagine her saying, “Ma’am, you need to be very specific where the pain in your spine is, is it L1 or L3, YOU HAVE TO BE SPECIFIC WITH ME OR I CAN’T HELP!!!”